Today I made a new friend

It’s not uncommon for a person like who lives and works in another country to meet new people and make friends with them. I actually already had a handful in a span of one year. 

Watched the sunset with the new friend

But today it felt special.

Like a connection I never knew I wanted needed at that time. We’ve had a few dead air pauses in between our chats but it wasn’t too awkward. At least not for me. 

I sound too cheesy writing this so I wouldn’t want her to know about this. 

It was just an ichigo ichie moment for me.

It needed to be written down so I won’t forget.

Ate dinner afterwards

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28 years realization

My mother was my age now when I was 10 years old. I don’t think I can handle my 10 years old self properly. I’m lucky to have the best mother!

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1 month married today! (Week 3)

As the title goes... It's our first month of being married!

It's quite exciting but also a bit sad because we are away from each other. We both didn't want this and we can't say we don't have a choice. But, this is the path we took and we have to bear with it.

To be honest, I have been feeling anxious lately. Even though my husband and I have discussed the great responsibilities of being married, it's only just a few days ago that I fully realized the realit
y of it.

It's a life long commitment. Which does not only involve love, but also finances, career, personal struggles. It's one of the decisions we make in life that we cannot take back too easily.

I have fears for myself and for my husband, especially that we are very far from each other. But at the same time, I have complete faith in our relationship. We both are striving to be better persons. We both want each other to feel loved and cared for. We aren't perfect so we still have disagreements and misunderstandings. But we want to learn from them. We both want to get to know each other better so we know how we can fully support each other.

It's not easy, but we are not in a hurry; change does not happen overnight. 

Golden sunset with Seneca

As I vowed 30 days ago: 

Even if it takes a lifetime, I will go through this difficult process of learning how to selflessly love another imperfect person. And I will do it with my husband, Jet.

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Week 2

 I almost forgot that I have to post one blog weekly.

So.. what happened to me this week? Uhmm, boring as always.

This career path that I took is mundane and lifeless. Office work, laptop, sit for long hours, dry eyes.

What makes it interesting is finding errors and mistakes and analyzing unusual financial activity -- which only happened to be interesting because this is my work, you know. I don't like it from the start, but it pays good, so I have to like it.

Speaking of careers, I am recently been reading and listening podcasts about Stoicism. It's a branch of Philosophy which I still can't grasp entirely but so far, I like what I've been learning about it.

I realized then, just very recently, what if I study again and take another course? Like philosophy, then be a college professor?

I like philosophy.. the search for life's true meaning, how to acquire wisdom, how to be a good person.

Since I've been reading about Stoicism, I like that it teaches about living today as if it's your last day on earth. It makes me realize what's the most important thing I have to do in my life today. And somehow, even though I am a selfish human being, the most important thing that comes to my mind -- is expressing how I care and love the special people in my life. Hoping that I have left something in this world that they will somehow learn from and cherish their whole life.

Still a bit selfish, I think. 

Anyway, moving on to a different topic...

This week I also tried to limit my use of my smartphone. I don't feel like there's a sense of accomplishment in scrolling endlessly on Intagram reels, except for getting ideas and templates on what to post later. 

Society today has dictated its citizens that the internet requires us to be connected ALL THE TIME to each other. I know we are social beings but why should I succumb to this temptation? Is temptation the right word or maybe fiasco? I don't know. 

I just hate the feeling of getting trapped. I know there is nothing wrong with people longing for validation. But, for me, it's just not very productive. BUT I AM ALWAYS GETTING CAUGHT. By Instagram most of the time. Facebook does not interest me, Tiktok most of all does not interest me. Youtube, not so much. But Instagram!! All these travels, photography, aesthetic lifestyle, literature, funny videos, cute pets. Ugh! They all make me envious yet at the same time idle because instead of finding and working on ways to achieve a "better life", I just scroll and swipe through it.

Anyway, I'm trying to be productive now, so I should stop being too hard on myself. 

Somewhere in Mellieha while writing this

I'm reading books again, I'm going out on weekends to see the sunset, to meet friends. I exercise (a bit). I just need to push myself a little more to be more courageous, adventurous, brave. Go out of my comfort zone. 

I am trying, and I'm proud of myself. 

It was crazy week with all these crazy nonsense I'm writing. 

I just hope this will do me some good in the future. Ciao! Till next week!

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