As I step into their their shoes.. But do they have shoes?2:30 PM
Different pairs of eyes once again gazed upon me.
I again heard whisperings - words of disgusts and hatred.
Some were even spoken out loud,
As if I am someone who has no heart.
But I am already blind, deaf, and numb.
Then I reached out again these worn-out envelopes.
Some I placed on their laps, others on top of their bags.
I am grateful when someone accepts it with their bare hands,
Despite knowing it's from someone whose hands have not been washed.
Others would shut their lids,
Trying so hard to ignore me.
Some would obviously exhibit gestures of contempt
Just to reject me outrightly.
But I am used to it.
I try not to look into their eyes, their judging and repelling stares,
As I speak my memorized sentences of pleading and begging.
Or as I sing my own composed songs of this bitter world.
Shame, pride, and dignity left me.
No, they didn't left me.
I left them. Somewhere, sometime ago.
Because at one point in my life,
I became needy.
I became hopeless and desperate.
And I still am.
More than coins, more than food, more than these alms..
I only long for that something that I really need.
Hurtful remarks, pitying looks, hands that wade me off...
They won't stop me from doing this.
Not until I will be given what I truthfully desire.
What are you willing to give?
What is it that I truly need?