Week 2

 I almost forgot that I have to post one blog weekly.

So.. what happened to me this week? Uhmm, boring as always.

This career path that I took is mundane and lifeless. Office work, laptop, sit for long hours, dry eyes.

What makes it interesting is finding errors and mistakes and analyzing unusual financial activity -- which only happened to be interesting because this is my work, you know. I don't like it from the start, but it pays good, so I have to like it.

Speaking of careers, I am recently been reading and listening podcasts about Stoicism. It's a branch of Philosophy which I still can't grasp entirely but so far, I like what I've been learning about it.

I realized then, just very recently, what if I study again and take another course? Like philosophy, then be a college professor?

I like philosophy.. the search for life's true meaning, how to acquire wisdom, how to be a good person.

Since I've been reading about Stoicism, I like that it teaches about living today as if it's your last day on earth. It makes me realize what's the most important thing I have to do in my life today. And somehow, even though I am a selfish human being, the most important thing that comes to my mind -- is expressing how I care and love the special people in my life. Hoping that I have left something in this world that they will somehow learn from and cherish their whole life.

Still a bit selfish, I think. 

Anyway, moving on to a different topic...

This week I also tried to limit my use of my smartphone. I don't feel like there's a sense of accomplishment in scrolling endlessly on Intagram reels, except for getting ideas and templates on what to post later. 

Society today has dictated its citizens that the internet requires us to be connected ALL THE TIME to each other. I know we are social beings but why should I succumb to this temptation? Is temptation the right word or maybe fiasco? I don't know. 

I just hate the feeling of getting trapped. I know there is nothing wrong with people longing for validation. But, for me, it's just not very productive. BUT I AM ALWAYS GETTING CAUGHT. By Instagram most of the time. Facebook does not interest me, Tiktok most of all does not interest me. Youtube, not so much. But Instagram!! All these travels, photography, aesthetic lifestyle, literature, funny videos, cute pets. Ugh! They all make me envious yet at the same time idle because instead of finding and working on ways to achieve a "better life", I just scroll and swipe through it.

Anyway, I'm trying to be productive now, so I should stop being too hard on myself. 

Somewhere in Mellieha while writing this

I'm reading books again, I'm going out on weekends to see the sunset, to meet friends. I exercise (a bit). I just need to push myself a little more to be more courageous, adventurous, brave. Go out of my comfort zone. 

I am trying, and I'm proud of myself. 

It was crazy week with all these crazy nonsense I'm writing. 

I just hope this will do me some good in the future. Ciao! Till next week!