Sep 23, 2015

On the Other Track

He was at the track
But stopped when he found
That one was ahead
And the other left behind.


And so he said he'll give up
And just look for another track;
Where someone won't be too late
Nor too fast.




Sep 21, 2015

Random 105

WARNING. This is just for the sake of an update. I am going to be so random that you wouldn't want to finish reading this post anymore.

I reread again my blog. That's what I usually do when I don't know what to write. And I have observed that I was really active in the year 2012. And you can notice that too because when you look at my blog archives (right side of the blog, scroll down a bit), year 2012 has the highest number of posts. I can remember that I was 2nd year college that time and averagely, that year was the peak of my being an introvert. I'd rather talk to my blog and to my diary than talk to a real person. But I was not like that all the time. And I'm so glad I am not like that anymore.

It's raining so hard as of the moment I am writing this.

So, I told myself the past years that I'd like to join the university newspaper editor staff. But until now, I just cannot because I am again afraid of applying. But I'm happy that I am part now of the campus radio ministry. I am a scriptwriter and a part-time DJ (although I don't want to). I do there what I like doing, so it's fun.

I am aware that Aldub and Pastillas Girl are the trend now in the media world. I don't think people will bash me just because I don't know anything about them.

I remember having a crush on someone and I cannot express it to any friends that I just had to write a poem about it. He was actually a classmate. Unfortunately, after a few months of finally admitting to myself that I like him, just then he had a girlfriend. I didn't know he was courting someone. I only heard rumors. After knowing about that, I don't like him anymore. The feelings were so fleeting as that. But no regrets in writing the poem. I find it funny reading it then trying to remember what was I feeling during that time. But nah, I can't remember anymore. :))
Read the poem here: http://not-really-an-arcane.blogspot.com/2012/12/secret-affection.html

The last 2 consecutive weeks were my worst two weeks so far for this semester. I think I cry almost every day and every night. I was so sensitive I don't even know why.

Uhhhmm. It's soon gonna be election time again and I'm still not sure who to vote. Any suggestions? And I still don't have my voter's ID. I'm 21 now, I think I need to be a more mature Filipino citizen, right? Oops. I don't know the people who are going to run for the positions.

I like this old blog entry of mine.
http://not-really-an-arcane.blogspot.com/2012/04/keepsake.html

There's someone I'd like to talk to but I just can't, for now.
*deep sigh*
Why do people make things so hard for themselves?

Because I was lying down while typing these things, I fell asleep. Haha.
Oh, by the way, Happy 250th post to this! :))

Sep 14, 2015

Palawan Mission Trip

It's going to be two weeks before leaving for Cebu!
And I haven't shared a thing about Palawan yet.

So yeah, last July 26, 2015 we left for Palawan. Not for adventures, sightseeing, nor vacation. But for mission trip.

I usually blog at my most inconvenient time. Like right now. So I cannot share YET our experiences and some of  our pictures. But I will be sharing this video I made.

I'll be back as soon as I can. Hoping! ;)

Enjoy the video! :)

Sep 1, 2015

How Christianity makes my PMS a life-changing experience

I feel so inferior.
Is this because of PMS?
Yes, I think so.
I hate how girls' moods are so unpredictable.
Just last Saturday night, my family and I were having so much fun while having dinner and catching up with each other's studies and other stuffs. Then my brother, who is a teaser, said some joke to me and I was just suddenly teary-eyed then I began to cry. I just couldn't stop the tears flowing in my cheeks.


I was told that there are two reasons why people cry. ( I'm not sure if I shared this already here) First is when you pity other people, or things or whatever it is. Second is, when you pity yourself.


I admit, I am a crybaby.
But not much lately.
I can control it now better than the past few years of my adolescent life.
Anyway, I cried because I feel soooo inferior just because of that one lame joke about my failure.
Maybe this is inferiority complex.
Or just plain PMS---
The most emotional stage in a woman's cycle.
But of course, there is something beneath this stage. Some reason or explanation.
I feel so inferior because I think that way.
Ever since my first major failure, which happened last year, I always feel like a failure. Although I always remind myself of a quote that I've read that,
Failure is not a person, it's an event.
But this failure was followed by two more consecutive failures which made me feel much worse. That I do not just feel that I am a failure with the career I am taking but also I was a disappointment to my family. It affected everything. Most of the people I know doesn't notice, because I don't show it. And only those people who have known me long enough can tell I am different.

My friends now know me as a really slow person. I admit, but only when I don't care. And I don't show if I care or not. So most of the time I just pretend I don't get it. Just forget this line. Or just don't mind it after reading it.

I don't share stories of what happened to me at school. Friends, aside from classmates don't know if I am doing well or bad in class. And I don't feel bad about it. I really chose not to share.

I'm not sharing my opinions anymore. I don't always say what I know anymore. I keep silent most of the time. I listen and just wish for another person to say what I like to say. And I was not this person in the past. I don't know if this is a good thing actually. Because back then when I was still that opinionated person, I was called arrogant and a "know-it-all". So yeah, maybe being this kind of silent is quite a nice effect.


These sad things I feel just pop out of nowhere when I look too much to self. I am aware what I am feeling right now is natural. And that it's not only me who can be experiencing this kind of things.
But whenever I just suddenly feel this lonely and down, I am so blessed I know the Greatest Comforter.
And whenever I feel like I don't have anyone who I can talk to, I have my Best Friend. He truly cares because He understands me so well.
He listens to all my braggings and my cries without judging.
He rebukes me of my selfishness but really gentle and sweet because He knows  how to confront me.
He knows where and why I have failed. But He doesn't see me as a failure nor a disappointment.
He looks on what I still can do and supports me all the way.
Knowing all these is more than enough for me.
Remembering that I have Someone like Him makes me change how I see myself.
Having Jesus Christ makes my PMS stage a time for reflection of  understanding and forgiving self, and a time of knowing more my Creator.



PS. To end that family story above, my brother aplogized to me after seeing me cry. I know he just likes to crack jokes and he really didn't mean to hurt me. It made me realize how shallow and selfish I am. Praise God for brothers! 😃
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